Meditating My Way To Not Knowing

Erica Rhodes
6 min readMay 26, 2021

The mantra that you’re given in Transcendental Meditation you keep to yourself. The reason being, true happiness is not out there, true happiness lies within. — David Lynch

Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

Just so you know, I started meditating.

I know, I’m already so annoying.

Today I meditated so hard, I fell fast asleep at the end. (That’s how good I’m getting at meditating).

I’m meditating so well that I’ve made sure to let every person I encounter know that I started meditating.

I didn’t just start meditating, honestly.

I had many false starts.

People kept telling me to meditate, which of course made my resistance to it even stronger. (What do they know?) Plus I never really understood how to do it.

How do you stop thinking? How do you focus on just your breath? Why would I want to do that? What’s the point? I do yoga, isn’t that enough? I don’t have time to not do things.

People who meditate always act so high and mighty about it.

Yeah, we get it, you meditate. Whatever. Keep it to yourself, would ya? I’m trying to be my usual anxious self over here. Leave me alone.

But recently, I’ve been seeking answers more from within instead of the outside world. And I…